How to Sit with Your Emotions (And Why It Actually Matters)

People often say, “You need to learn to sit with your emotions.”

But what does that really mean? How do you actually do it without shutting down, panicking, or trying to push the feeling away?

Here’s what it really means to sit with emotions, how to do it step-by-step, and why it’s such an essential part of lasting emotional growth.

What Does “Sitting with Emotions” Actually Mean?

Sitting with your emotions means allowing feelings to rise, move through you, and fall—without judging them, fixing them, or pushing them away. It doesn’t mean drowning in them. It means offering your emotions space to exist, instead of reacting or shutting them down.

Most of us weren’t taught how to do this. We were taught to distract ourselves, numb out, or “stay strong.” But emotions are not the enemy. They are messages. When we avoid them, they don’t disappear—they get louder in our bodies, our relationships, and our minds.

Sitting with emotions is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice—but it’s absolutely learnable.

How to Actually Sit With Your Emotions

1.

Notice What You’re Feeling

Instead of reacting, take a moment to name what’s happening:

“I’m feeling overwhelmed.”

“I’m noticing a lot of sadness right now.”

Naming the emotion activates the thinking part of your brain and helps you slow down.

2.

Tune Into Your Body

Ask: “Where do I feel this in my body?”

Maybe it’s a tight chest, a knot in your stomach, or a lump in your throat. Just notice. No need to change it—just allow it.

3.

Breathe Through the Wave

An emotion, if allowed, usually lasts about 90 seconds.

Breathe. Stay with it. Let it rise and fall. You’re not trying to fix it—you’re simply staying present while it moves through.

4.

Offer Yourself Support

You might say:

“This is hard, but I’m okay.”

“I can feel this and still be safe.”

“This feeling won’t last forever.”

This self-support helps your nervous system learn that emotions are not threats—they’re temporary experiences.

Real-Life Examples: What It Looks Like in the Moment

Casey in the Checkout Line (Anxiety)

Casey is in the grocery store when their heart starts racing. Their hands feel shaky, and they’re suddenly sure something is wrong. Instead of fleeing, they pause.

They name it: “This is anxiety.”

They feel it in their chest and hands, then focus on taking slow breaths.

They ground their feet on the floor, remind themselves: “I’ve felt this before. It will pass.”

The symptoms don’t vanish, but they soften. Casey finishes checking out—still a little unsettled, but proud they stayed.

Dana at Home (Anger)

Dana just got a text from her partner that feels dismissive. Her jaw clenches and her thoughts start racing. She almost fires off a reply but pauses.

She thinks: “I feel angry. I can feel that and not act on it yet.”

She notices her hands are fists. She breathes, loosens them, and lets herself feel the heat of the emotion.

Ten minutes later, she still feels upset, but now she can express it calmly and clearly—without saying something she’d regret.

Why Sitting With Emotions Matters

When we don’t sit with our emotions, we often end up:

• Overreacting to things we don’t fully understand

• Carrying emotional tension in our bodies (which can lead to anxiety, panic, or burnout)

• Feeling like our emotions control us, instead of the other way around

But when we do stay with them—even just for 90 seconds—we teach our nervous system something powerful:

“I can feel this without falling apart.”

This is the core of emotional regulation. And it builds resilience, self-awareness, and self-trust over time.

Metaphor: The Candle in the Dark

Sitting with emotions is like sitting next to a flickering candle in a dark room.

At first, the light feels harsh. The shadows are too much. You want to run.

But if you stay still—if you let your eyes adjust—the light softens.

You start to see more clearly. The fear fades.

You don’t sit with emotions to suffer. You do it to see.

To learn that the discomfort won’t destroy you—and that your body and mind can handle more than you think.

At Grace Therapy and Wellness, we specialize in helping clients—especially those navigating anxiety and panic—learn how to relate to their emotions in a new way. Whether you’re working with one of our therapists through online therapy across Illinois, sitting with your emotions is a foundational part of healing.