The first step is learning to recognize what your safety behaviors are. These are the actions you take to reduce anxiety or feel more in control in a situation that feels threatening. For example, you might always check exits in a room, avoid certain topics in conversation, carry certain objects, or mentally rehearse what you’ll say to avoid embarrassment. Many people use these behaviors automatically, without realizing it. Keeping a simple log or reflecting after anxious moments can help you identify patterns. Awareness is the foundation for change, because you cannot shift what you don’t see.

When you stop using a safety behavior, it’s normal for anxiety to increase at first. This does not mean something is wrong. In fact, it is a sign that your brain is being exposed to something it usually avoids. The key is to stay in the situation without trying to escape or neutralize the discomfort. You might feel physical symptoms like a racing heart or mental urges to retreat. Try to observe those sensations without reacting to them. With time and repetition, your nervous system starts to learn that the situation is not actually dangerous and that the anxiety will rise and fall on its own.

Once you are aware of your patterns, choose one safety behavior that feels manageable to experiment with. The goal is not to eliminate everything at once but to gradually test what happens when you stop relying on that behavior. For example, if you always wear headphones to avoid feeling overstimulated in public, try walking a short distance without them. If you typically avoid eye contact during meetings, try allowing brief glances. These changes should feel slightly uncomfortable but not overwhelming. This step creates opportunities for new learning that you can handle the situation even without your usual coping strategy.

The more often you practice facing a situation without your safety behavior, the more confident and resilient you become. Your brain gradually stops pairing the situation with danger, and the urge to rely on the behavior weakens. This process works best with consistency and self-compassion. Progress is not always linear. Some days will feel easier than others. The goal is not to eliminate all discomfort, but to build trust in your ability to handle discomfort without needing to avoid or control it.